Have you even been in a job in which you really want to leave, so you keep a mental countdown to when you’re hoping to be out? When anything comes up that has a date attached to it, you say to yourself “gosh, I really hope I’m not here for that.” I’ve had that many times.
I’m in a similar spot now. I’m saying to myself, “well, I won’t be here for that.” While my work has no idea I’ll be making a change in four months [and hopefully they don’t find that out for quite some time], my mindset has shifted significantly.
I’ve recently been put on a new work team and my days will be much more busy. What used to be eight hours sitting at my desk trying to look busy has begun to turn into actually being busy. It’s been a great shift, for sure. But at the same time, while I’m working hard and doing what’s required of me, in the back of my mind there’s a mental countdown as to when I’ll be leaving. Any date mentioned in February I have the “yep, not going to be here for that” thought.
When I gave myself permission to take this adventure [the permission thing will probably be another blog post], my mindset changed immediately. It wasn’t a “yeah, maybe I’ll leave in February after my trips to India + Indonesia.” Nope, it was a “of course, I’ll go after my trips to India + Indonesia. It’ll be perfect timing.”
And multiple things shifted in my life. I’ve challenged myself to not buy anything new until October 31 [uh, confession, I’ve broke this twice], so my budget and saving habits have been in a good place. I realized quickly that anything I spend will take away from Ireland, which is a good motivator to watch what goes into my cart! Or how often I go out to eat. Every expense now is analyzed. I even got a credit card, which if you've known my financial history [Dave Ramsey all the way for the last six years], this is a huge mindset shift!
My language has changed. [I don’t mean the cleanliness of my language, which can still be, unfortunately, that of a sailor’s sometimes.] But my internal language has shifted. Instead of “I’ll probably be in Ireland for so and so,” it’s “I’ll be in Ireland when that happens.” There’s a definitive-ness [yeah, just made up that word] to it. It’s happening.
I’ve noticed an attitude change too -- I’m so truly excited for this amazing journey ahead of me that I almost feel like it’s exuding out of me! I was actually mentioning to a friend awhile back that I feel like I haven’t been truly excited about anything in a long time. Life had become kinda ho-hum. Once I decided to do this, I have been so excitable! It’s amazing! My heart feels lighter and when I talk about it, my heart swells and I can’t help but smile and get a little giddy.
All this to say, I’m in it. There’s no waffling. I’ve committed wholeheartedly and beyond serious bodily injury and/or death and of course, Lord willing, there’s nothing stopping me! In fact I have to reign it in my outward excitement a bit. But that’s not a bad thing, in my book.