So what is it?

As I'm sure you've all been waiting with bated breath as to what 89.83 (from my previous post) could possibly mean, I'll tell you. Sorry to say, my faithful readers, all were incorrect. But, here's what you offered:

  • Dollar to Euro exchange rate -- currently it's at 0.81, so that was a good guess. It'd be grand if it went up to 0.89, though!
  • Something having to do with the year I was born (1983) -- this is actually along the right lines
  • Two votes for the cost of my ticket home -- wouldn't know, because I haven't booked it yet!
  • How much I've earned with my new business, RVP Career Services. -- Thankfully, I've earned a little more than that.
  • My favorite radio station. -- it is the station that's on in the shop every once in a while, but still not correct.

Before I tell the answer, I've been thinking.

About life.

Considering I've having remarkable changes in my life in the last year, thoughts on life--and how quickly it can be turned upside down!--creep into my thoughts often. Mainly the question is

what am I doing with my life?

This isn't said in a tone of defeat, like 'ugh, what am I doing with my life?!', or as a parent yells to an adult child who doesn't want to leave the house 'What Are You Doing With Your Life?!' (code for, when are you getting out of my basement?!) but more out of gentleness and curiosity. It's a legitimate question. What will my day look like? Week? Month? Year? Life? What will those periods of time say about me and what I'm doing with my life?

My time back in Ireland hasn't always been a walk in a lush, green, meadow. There have been some piles of cow poop left, some of which I've leapt over, but some of it I've stepped right in. It's been a much bigger adjustment this time around than I was expecting. And there have been a few times when I've questioned my coming back. But again, and again, I feel I have been confirmed in my work here in Ireland and my decision to pursue freelance writing (and my new venture) while traveling. But there's a grit to it too. It's real life now. My last stint in Ireland had a definite end date. Does this stint? Well, technically, it's 02 September 2015 when my visa runs out, but what's beyond that?

What am I doing with my life?

Honestly, I have no idea. While my answer to that question isn't a neatly laid out plan, I have a peace with that too. I'm holding it with open hands for God to do with as he wishes. Something I try to do with every day... even the crappy ones.

'But, Rachel,' you're saying, 'what in the world does this have to do with the number, 89.83?! Stop beating around the bush and just say it.'

All right. All right.

It's silly, really.

It's my (supposed) life expectancy.

Yep, this here gal, if all goes as expected (according to the all-knowledgeable interwebs) will live to the ripe old age of 89, plus some change.

Now, now, I know this is completely silly. There are other factors in play beyond my ability to refuse smoking, to wear my seatbelt, and not speed (too much), but according to the test I took, I have hopes of living well into my 80s, and if time is really good, even up to my late 90s (there's a 25% chance of that!).

However, thinking about the fact that I'm 31.5 now, that means I have approximately 58 years of life left.

So, what am I doing with my life? What will I do with my (supposed) remaining 50+ years?

But then, I think back on my life and question, why even go as far as 50 years? God only knows (literally) how long I'll be walking in the meadows (and dodging cow poop), so why not ask myself this question every day? Every single day. Or more importantly, ask, what is God doing with my life? He's the only one who really knows anyway, right?

I know this is silly because no life expectancy test/quiz/survey could have expected the death of my dad at 48. Or my stepdad at 57. Or that my grandpa is still going strong at 95. I can't live (well, none of us can, can we?) using this number as a countdown.

So yes the number 89.83 is arbitrary, but it did get me thinking.

How am I living my life today?

If you're at all interested, here's the test I took: How Long Will I Live?

Comment with your life expectancy and let's find out who will kick the bucket first!! Or find out the number and ask yourself how you'll be living your every day.